i have that sickening feeling, the feeling that it’s all too real for me right now. the anxiety, the depression the lack of will to live without him…. the feeling of being vulnerable and alone. this depression is eating me up, last night i though that if i just ignored it eventually it would go away. i go for bad to great to worse then before. why is my mind a fucking maze, a trap, that has no outcome i just go round and round in circles. sometimes i just want to knock myself out, just so i can stop thinking and being upset. these problems and issues are going to kill me sooner or later.
